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You might be an Austen-loving redneck if...

....your barouche is on blocks outside your parlour window. eat grits with your white soup. want to grow up and be just like Lydia Bennet. think cleaning rifles with Charles Musgrove sounds like a hot date. don't think it's weird that everyone seems to marry their cousin. think a petticoat six inches deep in mud is just a speck of dirt. think that the Price family of Portsmouth are an upper middle-class family. are a part of the local "militia."
....your barouche-landau is lined with Astroturf. show up at Pemberley in waders looking for those carp, tench and pike.

[The following refer to the various movie adaptations of Austen's novels:] mistakenly shoot Lady Catherine's hat for supper.'re jealous that Anne Elliot gets to ride in that cart with the pig. don't think that the old BBC Emma characters have big hair. do not envy Darcy for his house, but his hounds.'re disappointed that the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack music hasn't come out on 8-track tape.
....Mary Bennet's singing at the piano reminds you of those great old country/western stars who have gone to the Grand Ole Opry in the sky (said reverently with cowboy hat over heart).

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