Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2001, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.
L.A. Police Department: Give us ten minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. Let me make this perfectly clear, the chicken did not cross the road!
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed it, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Bill Clinton: It wasn't me. I wasn't chasing the chicken. There was no inappropriate relationship between me and the chicken.
Immanuel Kant: The chicken, being an autonomous being, chose to cross the road of his own free will.
George Orwell: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?